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So you get people having to choose polar opposite labels or the exact middle, Daniel explains. Part of the problem is that most wrongfully assume bisexual means being attracted to men and women equally, when that’s not always the case. Basically, someone who acts bisexual but opts to identify as straight is enjoying the privileges of being straight without having to suffer the social pitfalls of being publicly bisexual. “Part of the fight for bi people is just for more bi people, especially men, to be seen and heard,” he says. I didn’t tell any of my friends, I didn’t tell my older brother and I definitely didn’t talk to my parents about it.”ĭaniel, a 31-year-old in Denver who works at a rape crisis and sexual advocacy center, however, counters that sexual identity is far from this clear-cut.
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“I expected to feel secure in my sexuality after it happened, but the complete opposite happened. During middle school, he really struggled to find out where he stood sexuality-wise, a process made only messier by the fact that he lost his virginity to a girl at just the age of 12. Take Alex, a 23-year-old in North Carolina. Men can suffer, too, when society doesn’t really know what box to put them in. When we asked guys to share their “experimentation” stories with us, they spoke of a process that’s less cut-and-dry than “tried it not for me.” Sometimes, a period of sexual self-discovery can complicate a guy’s sense of self. I think there’s a difference between experimentation and regular sexual practices.” They don’t view themselves as bisexual but they’re not ashamed of the experimentation either,” adds Dallyan.
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